Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Majik 11-16-2001 to 05-23-2010

Nine years ago, we decided to breed our Jack Russell terrier, Scout. We did a lot of shopping for the perfect daddy. Scout met and loved Petey, her pups' father. As the pregnancy moved along, I used to hold Scout and rub her belly. When the puppies began to move, I could swear that one of them responded to my touch. Diane and I would marvel at the activity of this one pup when I would move my finger from different spots around this pups position on Scouts belly. The morning the pups were born Diane and I stood at the ready to help as needed. Scout did all the work but with the birth of the first pup she was confused over what was happening and tried to go after the newborn. I took the pup in my hand and held her. I could swear this was the pup in the belly by the reaction to my touch. She snuggled in and kicked her legs like she was trying to become a part of my hand. We named her Majik. She was magic. After a couple of more pups were born, I returned Majik to her mother as the instinct had kicked in and Scout was ready to clean and nurse this baby. But the bond had been made.

As the time came to place the pups in new homes we agonized over whom to let the pups go to. All new owners had to sign a contract that if the ever wanted to sell/give the dog away we reserved the first right to take the pup back. This letting the pups go to uncertain futures was so painful for us that we ended up neutering Scout. Puppy days were over. We ended keeping 2 of the pups. Majik and Montana. We called them the twins.

Majik was a complete love. She loved to be held by me and she would rub her face and head against my face when I held and kissed her. One of our favourite things to do was to sit on the steps out back. I would hold her and ask her if she wanted me to tell her about the day she was born. I would recount for Majik the story about her birth and our bond. I would tell her that I have been with her from the time she was born and I would be with until the time she leaves the earth. This was my bond to this pup.

We board the dogs when we go away because we don’t trust anyone to watch them in our house. They are high maintenance with many personality issues we don’t expect people to understand. But they are our little family. When we left for Aruba 11 days ago, Diane and I told each dog how much we loved them, how many days we were going to be gone and above all, when we were coming to get them.

This was supposed to be a blog about our trip to Aruba. We just returned early this morning. But it has turned into another story. The night before we were to head back home, we got a voicemail that we needed to phone the vet on her cell straight away. The news was not good. We had just talked to the kennel the day before and all the pups were doing fine. On the morning of May 23, 2010 Majik didn’t want to eat her breakfast. She just went and lay in her cuddler bed. The kennel help left her and came back an hour later and she was gone. I admit that I fell apart at this news and was probably not a lot of help to Diane who held it together to make arrangements. I was angry and wanted to blame someone. This was not supposed to happen. We were supposed to take our whole family home. Diane had the sense to order an autopsy and preliminarily we have learned that Majik had an enlarged heart and a very large blood clot was found that probably ended her life quickly. CHF. Now reading the symptoms of this disease, some symptoms that seemed benign, now begin to make sense.

Our hearts are broken. We feel all the feelings you can imagine. From being bad parents to we will never go on vacation and board the dogs again.

I just hope Majik forgives me for not being there with her when she left this earth as I was there when she entered it. I don’t know if I can forgive myself. I will try but the pain is just too great right now.

Diane will go to the kennel today to pick up Majiks belongings and cuddler bed. She will silently tell Majik that the mommas are here to get her and it’s time to go home. Come on home to us Majik.

Like every summer before this one, I will sit out on the steps out back and silently tell Majik about the day she was born.


MSEH said...

Oh, no... I am so sorry. Your post brought tears to my eyes. So, so sorry.

I am confident that Majik knows that you were there for her, even if you weren't "there," physically, when she departed this earthly world.

Know that I have you all in my thoughts.

West End Bob said...

"drf" and I just read your post and like mseh, had tears well up. We are so sorry you lost your child this way - the Universe just isn't fair all the time. We know you are feeling a big whole in your family now and the other kids will get much love from both of you.

Big hugs to all . . . .

Discount Hotels Paris said...

Its really very touching.I also know how it feels because I have also faced the same situation once in life.

Cheap Hotels Berlin said...

I think a very few faces this in life...Its really very touching....

cheap hotels vienna said...

Nice posting. Thanks for sharing such a nice article. Liked the post. keep it up.